AVOID MANUPILATION

 Personal development

Well mind 

Why are you allowing yourself to be manipulated

image by Medium.com

 Written by Charlene Mind'je F.

Place : Kigali-Rwanda

Time reading: 6min

You may have already been the victim of mockery, and criticism, attacks, or manipulations from others. You may have already done or undergone things just to please someone, to look like others, or not to be rejected by a group. You may have simply been involved one day in a situation or activity that you did not approve of and that you later regretted. 

From all our lived experiences - amusing or heartbreaking, we can always draw a lesson. We are sometimes surrounded by people who do or lead us to do things that we know well are contrary to our convictions, for not to be rejected or to be the object of ridicule, to be accepted or appreciated, we end up doing it.

Most of the time, we face people who invite us to react in a disproportionate way to our desires as a person knowing full well that they incite us to do cruel things. And yet the best we can do is not associate ourselves with people of such bad morals. These malicious people are unable to respect others, nor to the point of loving them.

If today you find yourself face to face with comrades who want to train in tortuous paths, always remember this:

A thinker by the name of Krishnamurti said: "It is not a sign of good mental health to be well adapted to a sick society"

A popular saying adds this: "It is better to be alone than in bad company."

But you wonder how to react concretely if you find yourself with an offensive, manipulative, dominating person?

This article will give you some tips (social intelligence) in harmony and with a benevolent intention:

Technique n°1: Be firm with the narcissistic pervert

Once you have identified the mode of operation of the narcissistic pervert, the ideal is to be able to extract yourself as much as possible from the relationship. In the context of a relationship where you are forced to rub shoulders with the pervert, it is important to learn to set your limits and reaffirm them as much as necessary.

For a limit to be established, it must first be clearly expressed and secondly, its transgression must have the immediate consequence of leaving the interaction with a view to reframing. In other words, you must tell the pervert that your limit has been crossed and that you do not accept it.

Technique n°2: Demand clarity of words from the narcissistic manipulator

Narcissistic perverts and manipulators in general use ambiguities and play on vagueness, to systematically take control of the interaction and lead the other where they want.

So ask the pervert to clarify his words. To do this, you can rephrase his ambiguous sentence by asking him to confirm the meaning. In case of innuendo, force him to develop the background of his thought, insisting that he expresses himself openly. If the narcissistic pervert seeks to avoid committing himself by remaining evasive, ask him to come back to the concrete and to take a position in words on the one hand, and by initiating actions in conformity with the announced commitments on the other hand.

Technique n°3: Avoid any emotional expression with the narcissistic pervert

Before giving you this advice to destabilize such a character, know that if you are the victim of a narcissistic pervert, it is important not to let your feelings of empathy control you.

Keep in mind that true feelings only interest him insofar as he can use them to exert his control. It is for this reason that it is above all important not to give any information about you, and not to express any emotion in his presence. Even if you are destabilized, do your best not to let it show: the narcissistic pervert feeds on the feelings of guilt, shame, and/or fear that he seeks to create in his victim to make him susceptible to manipulation.

This method makes it possible. Take a step back and keep in mind, that you feel these negative emotions by the very effect of the manipulation that he exerts on you and that you must not let them eat away at you, for the good reason that they are not legitimate. In reality, you have done nothing to justify these unpleasant feelings that the pervert manages to create in you, even though in other circumstances fear, guilt or doubt can be useful and turn out to be engines for adjusting our behavior. In the case of evil manipulation, giving them credit and letting them gain power over you will only strengthen the other's hold.

Find more tips on Psychological Tricks to Fight Back Against a Manipulator- use the link :

https://brightside.me/inspiration-psychology/9-psychological-tricks-to-fight-back-against-a-manipulator-797264/

Always facing a manipulative person, with a destructive intention, remember to keep your calm and your courtesy as much as possible. Let appear on your face a kind and controlled smile, while looking the manipulator in the eyes. If you feel directly targeted by his remarks or insinuations, make him understand that you intend to remain faithful to your convictions and express them.

Finally, remember these maxims of Martin Luter King;

1. A man's true greatness is not measured when he is comfortable, but when he goes through a period of controversy and challenge.

2. What is frightening is not the oppression of the wicked, it is the indifference of the good.

3. He who accepts evil without struggling against it cooperates with it.

4. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can.

Most of the time, the adversities of life can make you sick or make you much stronger. This will depend on how you plan to go about it - Because after all, the key is within us. Know also that when faced with such a difficulty, what is necessary is not what you feel at the moment of the challenge, but the way you react to it. This will define the results of your battle.

Spec-Tacular Mind Opinion

If you have to make a decision while under the influence of a pervert, try to put your emotions aside and act independently of them, keeping in mind that they are neither genuine nor legitimate to influence, using language, as a means of creating confusion in the interlocutor, thus making him more malleable, while inducing what the pervert wishes, serving his means and his interests, concrete or relational, in a perspective of psychological domination.

SOURCE 

These enriching ideas were shared with us by "LA CLINIC E-SANTE" - 4 Chem. des Aigles, 60270 Gouvieux, France